The automated hold line

I know that everyone of us in this glorious green/blue planet have had to use the automated hold. Allow me to fill you in with my dilemma.

So as I sit here on indefinite hold for my boss for a live person to speak with at AT&T for tech support, I’m entertained by music from days gone by. No. It’s not ‘oldies’. It’s not the 70s … I’m going to say that it’s a mixture of underground one hit wonders that  either I remember hearing the songs once upon a time. Bobbing my head from side to side with my faithful bluetooth headset on, I find it difficult to actually lose myself in the music and forget the trouble that is brewing to ease my mind. Why? (You ask – because I’m that kind of person that likes to speak for someone else when no one else is present.) Glad you asked!! Within every 15-30 seconds (I haven’t been on hold long enough to actually time it yet, current hold time: 22m:26s) I hear a strong man’s voice that says “All of our representatives are still busy handling other people’s calls….. yadda yadda yadda”. 

I’m gonna have to call bullshit.

When I imagine what people are doing on the other end of the hold line, I picture parties and laughter to see how long a particular person will stay on hold until they actually hang up. I wonder sometimes if there are bets wagered. Mocking me.. 

I was about to say that at least there was no static within the hold music. I would have spoken (written) too soon. You know that station that you tune into in your car, that has a catchy tune.. and you find yourself humming or singing along? Then you hit a bad spot and there is static. At first, it’s ok.. the song is good enough to overcome the static, you think. It gets to the good part and now it’s muffled and fuzzy. What’s worse than listening to Bruce Hornsby and the Range sing with a raspy static to add to the song?.. oh wait.. there’s the famous guys voice again. GRRRRRR

I hope someone loses a bet today. I’m ordered to stay on hold until someone answers.. I’m right under 30 minutes now. I pray for sanity and the soul I want to rip apart for making me hold so frickin’ long!!