I fell in the shower the other day….

I enjoy  waking up earlier than the other people in my house… well.. sometimes. To make that comment more understandable, I enjoy it after I’m awake and no one else is. The initial eye opening moment is not pleasurable. 

Each morning I’m woken up any where between the times of 7am and 8 am. Usually I’m nudged by Molly.. or pounced, licked and pawed by Nanas. Occasionally, Toro’s nose may find a way under my hand to wake me up too. Every once in a while I’ll get the “The babies wanna go out” by my other half.  I stretch as must as I am allowed only to stumble to the bedroom door to let the kids out… I then travel down the hallway to the babies’ room and let out the other eight. They are so cute when they are first waking up.. yawning before the initial bark.. sleepy ears and sweet smiles. Then all hell breaks loose and they are ready to be unleashed out of their crates. Once I open the doors, they run out like they are on fire, yipping the whole way. I quickly sneak to my own personal dressing room to grab my cell phone to check quick messages while I sit on the porch to watch the early risers make their business in the wet Florida grass.

It’s quiet unless someone’s walking around or if there are sonsofbitches in the yard. Sonsofbitches are any yard intruders that is not limited to squirrels, birds, neighbors within site, bugs, turtles, deer, rabbits…. I think you get the idea. Should one of them be awake and playing outside when my kids are released… omg… it’s howling galore. I can’t help but to laugh though…

After 30 minutes of watching them sit on the small deck, sniff around and make me proud, We go in. I separate the girls from the boys to avoid having more than 11 dogs and go back into my dressing quarters to log into the multiple emails and messages. This is my come to light moment. I’m now awake… and it’s quiet. I know you wouldn’t think that it would be quiet with 11 dogs, but they aren’t quite awake yet either… so they usually lay back down.

On this particular day, I took a moment to myself and decided to get in the shower. My knee had been bothering me and I felt grungy. I can say that I probably needed to shave my legs too.. but of all, I just wanted to stand under the water. I washed my hair and was getting ready to shave my legs when I felt my legs give way and I landed in a big swirling plop in the bath tub. I smacked my head on the faucet, and slipped and slid all over before I gathered myself to be still. 

If you can imagine, a voluptuous woman, dripping wet and sprawled out grasping for leverage in the bottom of the tub.. you’ll see something quite humorous. I can say (because it was me) that the first thing that traveled through my frantic brain is … oh great.. what did I break?

Here’s the messed up part: My dogs didn’t bark. 

I have chihuahuas. Anyone that has come in contact with these dogs knows that they bark as the sigh of a cricket fart. But they didn’t bark when their owner fell in the shower. All hell breaks loose if something else falls in there… like my razor falling off the wall, another dog walks down the hallway, a car door at the neighbor’s house… It’s a challenge to keep them quiet when my phone rings!! But NOOOOOO, when mom falls in the shower, it’s like it’s supposed to happen. You’d think my other half would wake up to wonder what’s going on and to see if I’m ok. If you thought that, you’d be wrong.

I had to gather myself off the floor of the shower, finish bathing and ask myself.. do I need life alert? Am I that old? Please say it isn’t so. I haven’t seen any gray hairs yet… but then again, I color/dye/stain my hair every 6-8 weeks. I feel a little rickety as I age.. but really??? Life alert was first in my head! Just to think that I used to make fun of the commercial about falling and not getting back up… sigh.. I’m so sorry.

At what age should I consider myself ‘old’? I certainly don’t feel it mentally.. but my body… Things are sagging in areas that they didn’t before and I have found 2 (yes 2!!!) wrinkles near my eyes that are deep enough to make me want to buy every cosmetic at Walgreens that will correct the problem. 

I have heard in the past years that you are as only as old as you feel. At the age of 30, I knew that every birthday thereafter would be an un-birthday… in which I will be removing one year for each one I supposedly gain. I’m looking forward to turning 21 again.. next year. Yeah yeah.. do the math.. I don’t look my age – but I can say I feel it. I’ve lived a lifetime of crap and good times. I have retired from 2 career choices so far (with nothing to show for it but experience).. but I’m still wanting to expand my learning potential and try something new. 

In all, I think you’re old when you stop wanting to experience & learn.. or is that when you die? I get confused..